I Wish I Had Green Eyes
by KazunaPikachu
Summary: 2: He captivates her with his smile; he hardly ever smiles at all – if he did, he was accused of trying to kill her.  10 reasons why Gil wanted to be like Oz... and why he shouldn't be. GilxAlice   OzxAlice


I Wish I Had Green Eyes

By KazunaPikachu

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10 reasons why Gil wanted to be like Oz… and why he shouldn't be.

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"_Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own."_

Harold Coffin

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**1:** _Oz was bright, cheerful and romantic; he was gloomy, serious and everything but romantic._

"I don't get it," the brunette growled as she glared at him. "Why are you always _doing_ that?"

Oz blinked at her, that goofy smile still on his face. "Doing what, Alice?"

The Chain pointed angrily towards the giggling bunch of girls – carrying a whole bunch of red roses - walking away from them. "You talk with every girl that passes! And it's not the normal type of talking either – whatever you do, you make their faces go all red and cause them to _giggle._" She shivered in disgust. "I mean, what the hell? Are they just stupid?"

Gil watched their interaction silently. The cobbled street was busy with the noise of the festival. Everywhere he looked, people walked about, laughing and enjoying themselves. There were quite a few young people present as well, all dressed up and looking extravagant. He pushed the brim of his black hat down lower. He hated crowded places and the smell of oily food in the air.

At least Oz had the decency to blush. "Ah, well, it's just a little bit of fun, Alice," he said with a grin. "I'm just being friendly! It's the festive season after all!"

But Alice merely crossed her arms and scowled. Before she could say anything in retort however, Oz produced a red rose from behind his back. "It's not food," he said as he presented it to her with a flourish, "but it really reminded me of you." He gave her a charming smile. "Do you like it, Alice?"

Alice stared at the rose in awe and Gil, always the observer – the protector – watched the blood rise to her face. She accepted the rose gingerly, sniffed it, and mumbled, "Meat is better, idiot." Yet her eyes had a certain fondness to them that Gil couldn't ignore. "They smell better."

Oz laughed and raced ahead of them. "Come on!" he urged his two best friends. "Let's keep exploring the stalls!"

Alice didn't follow him right away – she seemed to be in a daze. Gil didn't know why he did it but he found himself remarking, "Stupid rabbit. A rose doesn't suit you at all."

She glanced at him sharply, her bloody red eyes no longer soft and affectionate. "What?" she asked threateningly.

Gil returned her gaze calmly, although for some reason he wished that the emotions in Alice's eyes hadn't changed when she looked at him. "You're not elegant at all and you certainly don't have the fragrance of a rose. If I had to compare you to anything, you have to be a… Well, a pig."

His words had the effect he wanted, but perhaps not for the same reasons. Alice flushed alright – with indignation and rage. "Who are you calling a pig, seaweed head?" she snarled. "Your opinions are worthless anyway! I never gave you permission to speak!" Then she turned around with a huff and followed Oz through the happy crowds.

Just like her before, Gil didn't move right away. He just stared after her, wondering why he felt so uneasy that she was chasing after some other man, and why he felt so embarrassed.

**2:** _He captivates her with his smile; he hardly ever smiles at all – if he did, he was accused of trying to kill her._

He noticed it a lot. Whenever Oz gave her that radiant grin – that smile only meant for her – she would simply stare, as if bewitched. When she snapped out of it, Oz would always laugh and her creamy skin would always tinge pink. She'd insult him afterwards, or get mad, but whatever the situation, she always gave a faint smile in return.

Gil wondered if he could have the same affect on her.

She was walking one way down the hall; he was walking the other way. As they drew closer, she gave him a haughty look, one that said: _I am not afraid of you._ Instead of passing each other entirely, without a word spoken between them, he stopped in front of her, blocking her path.

She glared up at him in annoyance. "What do you want?" she sneered, baring her teeth. "Out of my way! Do you want me to kick you?"

Gil stared down at her, wondering if this was really a good idea after all. He felt sweat beading on his forehead and his heart was beating so fast. His lips twitched.

Alice looked at him strangely. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked with a growl. "I told you to get out of my way!"

Inwardly, Gil squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated. His lips twitched even more desperately.

By now, Alice was increasingly irritated and disturbed. "What are you doing?" she asked with barely contained fury. "What's wrong with your face? It keeps twitching. Are you _trying_ to make me mad?"

"St-Stupid Black Rabbit!" he finally sputtered, failing with his attempt at 'smiling'. His face instead fell back on a more familiar expression: pure contempt. "You're in _my_ way! Stop being so damn rude and just _move it_!"

The Chain smirked and crossed her arms stubbornly. "Oh, and I suppose you're going to make me?"

He should smile at her now. If he did it the same way Oz did, he was sure he'd be able to dazzle her and stop her from glaring at him so mockingly. Forcing his inner insecurities down, he finally stretched out his lips in a wide, pearly smile. "I don't suppose I really do need to, do I, stupid rabbit?"

However, the words didn't register to her. She was staring at him, arrogant smirk wiped clean off her face, stunned and terrified. Her reaction dulled Gil's 'smile' to more like a grimace. Alice pointed at him accusingly, her finger slightly trembling. "Don't you _ever_ do that again," she whispered in a deathly low tone. "I don't know what you just did but _never_, and I mean _ever_, do that if you want to live. Are you _trying_ to kill me?" Then she barged through him, shoving him out of her way, briskly walking to her destination. Never once did she glance back.

Gil absently rubbed the side of his jaw. He didn't know how Oz did it but damn – he must have some good cheek muscles.

**3:** _He was her Light while she was mere darkness; he couldn't balance her, because he was as black as she was._

"I don't know what he was talking about," Alice mumbled. "I mean, why would he call me his 'sun'? If anything, I'm the clouds that cover it."

Gil rolled his eyes. "At last we agree on something – Oz is definitely crazy somehow to value _you_ so highly. You're nothing but a curse to him," he spat bitterly.

Alice glared at him slightly. They were standing in the middle of the pathway in the garden; they happened to come across each other in a little leisurely walk at midnight. "Well, what about you?" she retorted. "You're not exactly all sunshine and happiness either," she said harshly. Then she looked away, towards the moon. "Oz… is more like the 'sun'," she whispered suddenly, surprising him.

Although perplexed by her sudden confiding, Gil couldn't help but agree with her yet again. "Yes," he said quietly. "Oz Vessalius, belonging to one of the Duke Houses bathed in light… It's only natural."

But Alice shook her head. "It's not because he was born in such a family. It's from his very _essence._" She smiled softly to herself, a rare show of gentleness that Gil hardly ever witnessed. "It's very… refreshing… to a Chain. The Abyss, after all, has no 'sun'." Then she walked away, wistfully and silently, so unlike the day-time Alice that it slightly disturbed him.

Gil watched her go with a single thought: he wished then that, perhaps, he could be like the sun instead of a member of the Nightray family. He wondered if he could be 'refreshing' too.

**4:** _Oz met her first, in the Abyss; he could only see her after Break poked Oz with his walking stick._

"Oz! Get down!"

Alice leapt and dragged Oz to the ground just in time for the swipe of razor claws to pass harmlessly through the air. The hideous Chain – as large as an elephant but with ten times worse the temperament – groaned wearily in the night. _"Bloody Black Rabbit,"_ it cooed. _"An old enemy… An old enemy… Do you still taste the same…?"_ It was, like most Chains, grotesquely deformed, with a massive crocodile's head but with flaking scales of poison.

Gil tried to race towards them – to open the seal – but he was swatted aside by the gigantic Chain. _"Ho hum!"_ it seemed to chuckle. When Gil fired at it, the bullets fell harmlessly away against its scales. _"Tickles… yes… So many types of meat to eat…"_

The Chain went at them again, aiming directly for Alice. She shoved Oz aside and ran the other way, diverting its attention. "Oi! Stupid Chain! Come get me – if you have the _guts_," she sneered.

When the Chain's attention fixed on her, Oz immediately scrambled to protect her. "Alice!" he yelled. His eyes widened. "Don't be stupid! You're helpless right now-!"

"Get back, Oz!" Alice snapped at him when she saw him coming her way. Her harsh tone of voice was enough to stop him in his tracks. "If you come here now, you'll only hurt yourself! You'll be useless as a manservant!" Her malevolent eyes shone with fierce determination as she smirked. "It's just a lowly Card. Hurry up and undo the seal from that stupid seaweed head!"

Oz reluctantly understood her. Forcing himself to turn away, he ran instead towards Gil. "Gil!" he shouted once he was within reach – Gil met him half-way. "Undo the seal! Quick!"

He wanted to do it before – he really did – but now as he looked at Oz's young and scratched face, he remembered that the release of power might move the hand of the vicious clock again. "Oz…"

Oz saw the hesitation and snapped in a rare show of impatience. "Hurry up, Gil!" he demanded. "Alice is in trouble! I _need_ to help! Otherwise, I'm _useless_ to her!"

The Chain noticed his shouting and shifted its attention away from Alice. _"Ah… such fresh… young… meat…" _it drawled lavishly. It began to advance them, despite Alice's protests.

But Oz's conviction was enough. Gil took off his glove and immediately pressed his hand against his master's forehead. Just like the other times before, Oz seemed to slump as a raging burst of energy was suddenly released.

As Gil caught Oz as he collapsed, he looked up just in time to see a formidable, large black rabbit slice down the Chain with very little difficulty. Even before the Chain started disappearing, the black rabbit returned to its more familiar form – it was Alice. She ran towards them, eyes only on Oz, who lay slumped against Gil.

"Oz!" she shouted, reaching them. "Oz! Are you alright? Wake up, you useless manservant!"

Oz's eyes blinked upon and he smiled wearily. He managed to stand back on his own two feet and grasped Alice's arm. "I'm glad you're okay," he said sincerely, eyes shining with the truth of his words.

Alice simply nodded and replied, "Of course. I'm _always_ having to look after you, aren't I?" Then she gave him a mischievous grin. "In the Abyss, I was always saving you from the Chains. Such a useless slave! It's no different out here either, is it?"

"Sadly, no." But he smiled in return nonetheless. "But I wouldn't know what to do without you either."

Gil watched their exchange, feeling like an outsider. They experienced things that didn't include him – had memories in which he was not a part of. Although, he wished he was. He could see her fierce protectiveness over Oz and see this emotion returned.

He briefly – always – wondered if he'd met Alice first, would they have the same kind of absolute commitment, loyalty and devotion to one another too?

**5:** _Oz was hardly afraid of anything; he had a humiliating fear of cats._

"Ooh, Giiiiiiil!" he called in a rather sing-song voice. However, to him, it sounded more like a death chant. "Giiiiiil! I found you a friend!"

Gil stared at the _thing_ Oz was currently holding up in front of him. It was small and furry and without a doubt _the_ _heart of all evil_. Needless to say, he was as white as marble stone.

Oz pleasantly smiled and it was almost as evil to him as the cat's cute, mewling face. "I found it on the street, Gil! It has a collar and an identification number so we're keeping it for the night while we try to track down his owners."

Gil remained completely still, not wanting to draw the cat's attention. However, his peculiar behaviour had already made him a target for its slitted, plotting eyes.

On the couch in the living room, Alice noticed Gil's distress and blinked. "Raven… you're not afraid of… _cats_ are you?" When he didn't respond, as unmoving as a statue, she burst out into pure laughter. "The great _Raven_ – bested by a _cat_!" she laughed, openly mocking him. "Oz! Do me a favour and throw it at him! I wanna see what he does," she said with a smirk.

"N-No!" Gil sputtered, backing up against the wall. "Oz! Don't!" He'd already had cats thrown at him by his young master ten years ago. Although he cherished those days in which he and Oz and Ada played around endlessly, it was an element of his past he would rather forget – in the very least, he didn't want the events to repeat themselves.

Oz smiled at him and – was it his imagination – or was there a flash of sadness in his eyes? Instead of holding the cat out to him, he instead offered it out to Alice. "Would you like to pat the kitten?" he said nicely.

Alice, however, immediately snorted and crossed her arms. "Keep that thing away from me," she stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "For some reason, I don't like cats. If you hand it over, Oz, I might just end up cooking it over a fire."

Despite the fact that the majority of his attention was focused on the cat and its movements, Gil managed to glance at her. "You're afraid of cats too?" he almost whispered.

Again the Chain snorted. "Afraid? Like you, you seaweed headed coward? Ha! Don't make me laugh!" She glared at the cat, who looked innocently back in Oz's hands. "I… I just don't like them, that's all…" she mumbled. A tense moment passed, her expression solemn.

Oz noticed the frown on her face, her look of deep contemplation, and knew just what he needed to do to break the ice. He smiled innocently and advanced Gil, still holding out the cat. "Oh! Look, Gil! He likes you!"

Gil stiffened and stared. He dared not even breathe. Finally, the cat was within inches from him and that was all he could take. The whiskers, the fangs, the little, tiny claws and intelligent, degrading eyes – he couldn't stand it.

He felt himself beginning to faint.

Before he blacked out entirely, he heard the Black Rabbit's crows of laughter. "I guess it's fitting," he heard her snicker, "that the Raven be undone by the cat."

**6:** _He would always try his best to please her; he, however, never had patience with her indulgences._

"OZ!" Alice screamed. "Meat! Food! Get them for me _now_!"

"Don't listen to her, Oz," Gil growled. To enhance the effect, he stood between him and the angry Chain. Staring imploringly into Oz's eyes while grasping his shoulders, he said urgently, "We do _not_ have enough money to feed this idiot! Break gave us _minimum_ expenses!"

He felt himself being shoved aside. "If you don't want me to die," Alice said, holding Oz' gaze, "then you'll buy me meat this very minute, Oz!"

The poor young boy glanced between the two, lifting up his hands in defence. He gave a shaky, unsure smile. "Um, well, I guess we can't have that…" He glanced towards Gil guiltily. "Right, Gil?"

"Oh, no you don't!" Gil snapped. "You have to stand your ground against her, Oz, or she'll be so spoilt she'll drain both of us dry!" His narrowed, golden eyes then snapped towards Alice. "You!" he snarled. "Stop being so gluttonous! Don't you _ever_ stop eating?"

Alice stomped her foot in an irritating manner. "_You_ never stop eating, and if you did, you'd be _dead_!" she retorted hotly. "What's the big deal? Just give me what I want and everything will be fine!"

"I don't need to do anything you say!"

"Who do you think you are?" she scoffed, placing her hands on her hips. "You're the servant of my manservant. Therefore, you do what I tell you to do without complaint, you stupid seaweed head!"

"Don't just make stuff up, you idiot Black Rabbit!" Gil fumed. His fingers twitched, wanting to go for the hilt of his guns. "Oz is definitely not your property! If we can't afford your meat, then _we can't afford your meat_! You may find this shocking but money doesn't grow on trees!"

"Hey, I'm not picky about how you get it," Alice snapped, thoroughly frustrated. "Steal it, kill for it, I don't care – as long as you get it for _me_. I don't care if you don't have any money! It's no excuse to allow your master to starve!"

"You're not my master!" If he shouted any louder, Break and Sharon could probably recognize his voice – and they were whole cities away! "You're not a princess! You're just a spoilt, stupid Chain who's lucky enough to have met Oz!"

He could almost see the intent for murder in her bloody red eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, to shout obscenities at him, but then something was shoved in her face. Something warm, cooked red and utterly mouth-watering.

Oz stood there, holding out five pork kebabs in front of her. He grinned at them both sheepishly. "Here, Alice, I managed to get your meat," he said cheerfully. "I had a few coins in my pockets which I didn't remember I had until now. Here, they're yours."

Alice's eyes immediately lost their dark expression and instead she beamed, her face alight with happiness. "Oz!" She said the name with so much open affection that even Oz blushed. She snatched the meat from his hands and instantly began to munch on her prize. She glanced up momentarily and smirked cockily at Gil, some meat still in her mouth. "See _that_ Gil? You might learn a thing or two from your master."

Gil wasn't paying attention to her though. His eyes were on his young master. "_Oz_," he said, a little more than disappointment in his voice. "You shouldn't have done that. She's never going to change if you keep spoiling her like this."

Oz scratched the back of his head. But there was no evidence of regret or even guilt in his eyes. "Sorry, Gil," he said anyway with that usual boyish smile. "I can't help myself either." He glanced at Alice and his smile immediately softened. Noticing his eyes on her, Alice looked up from her chewing. "Besides…" he said, "I wouldn't want Alice to change anyway. She's perfect as she is."

Gil's eyes widened and Alice coughed, blushing madly. "S-Stupid," she stuttered, thoroughly embarrassed. Yet Gil could see. She was really happy, and not just because of the meat. "Don't say such things. You're just a manservant – I don't need you to tell me I'm perfect." Then she looked away and mumbled, "B-But I wouldn't want you… to change either… Oz. I'm… happy with how you are now too."

Oz beamed and laughed, a slightly pink tint to his cheeks. "Thanks, Alice. That means a lot."

Gil watched their exchange – or, more specifically, he watched _her_. So happy and alive with her emotions, expressing each one of them in her red eyes without fault. Gil sighed and shoved down his hat, shadowing his eyes against their exchange.

**7:** _He was lost; he knew exactly where he was._

They were in a carriage, riding back to Pandora headquarters, just he, Oz and Alice. The both of them noticed Oz's peculiar behaviour ever since they left. He wouldn't say anything, just stared listlessly out the window. Alice, who sat next to him, finally had enough.

"Are you still thinking about what that idiot said?" she snapped at him. "Well, don't! He didn't know what he was talking about!"

When he simply ignored her, Alice's vein throbbed and she harshly grabbed his ear. "OZ! Don't you dare ignore me!"

"Ow, ow, ow, stop it, Alice!" the boy cried, finally turning to face her. His expression was pitiful. "That hurts!"

"Good. 'Bout time someone knocked some sense into you." She let go of his ear nonetheless. "You're _here_, Oz. How many times do I have to say that? Are you slow? Deaf?"

Oz shook his head. "Sorry, Alice. I know." He smiled sadly. "It's just… maybe they're right. Maybe I'm not exactly… _here_." His eyes went eerily blank again and both his friends shivered, concern dominating their features.

"Oz…" Gil began.

But Alice was having none of it. "No one's opinion should matter to you but _mine_," she hissed. "Stop being such an idiot!"

"… Sorry, Alice. Sorry." He glanced at Gil and gave him a grim smile. "I'm sorry to you too, Gil. Having to put up with me so much…" He laughed and it was a hollow sound that pierced their hearts. "You must be really sick of me."

Alice rolled her eyes and groaned. She pointed rudely at the twenty-four year old man. "Seaweed head over there knows _exactly_ where he is – he's by _your_ side." She stared at Oz intensely. "Grow some sense! If _he_ knows where he is, then _you_ must too! Tell me, Oz: where are you?"

He stared at her, glanced at Gil, then sighed wearily. But it wasn't towards them; it was as if he directed that sigh to himself. "You're right. You're absolutely right." He looked at Alice and Gil and smiled tiredly. "I'm… here, with you two. If I don't know where I am, then I at least know... that I belong with you guys. I want to be with you two."

But Gil saw it, and so did Alice. There wasn't enough conviction in his eyes. Although his words may be sincere, his heart wasn't entirely in them. Alice growled softly beneath her breath and crossed her arms. She haughtily looked away.

Gil, however, always noticed the way she always glanced towards Oz, the worry and concern in her eyes. She never looked at him the same way, not once, and for some reason it made him feel hollow inside.

**8:** _No matter what she did, he would always find it in his heart to forgive her; for him, some things just can't be forgiven._

Gil glared at her. "What are you doing here?" he snapped, the anger evident in his tone.

Alice looked up from her sitting position on the floor. She was sitting in front of a closed door, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms insecurely around them. "I…" she murmured quietly, "I just want to see Oz."

"Don't you think you've done enough damage?" he asked harshly. Gil reached down and grabbed her arm, dragging her up to her feet. "Go away, you stupid rabbit," he said coldly. "Even if Oz was awake, I wouldn't let you see him."

Alice tore her arm from his grasp. "I don't need to take orders from yo-!"

"Shut up!" Gil snarled. His golden eyes were ablaze with loathing resentment. He grabbed her arm again, his grip like iron, and pulled her away from Oz's door. He dragged her, despite her protests, out into the garden. There, he shoved her so harshly that she fell to the ground. "Don't pretend you didn't play a hand in this! If it weren't for you, Oz wouldn't be lying on the bed, unconscious for _two days straight_!"

"Don't shout at me!" She quickly stood up, pulling herself up to her full height. Yet even then, she was petite beside the tall stature of Gil. This didn't stop her from yelling at him in return though. "I didn't mean for it to happen!"

"You're a bloody _Chain_," Gil sneered with disgust. "How could you _not_ have known this would happen to Oz when you made the contract with him? You only care about yourself!" He shook his head and raked a hand through his hair in obvious distress and anger. "We were coming to get him, you know," he said with a voice that could quell fire. "If you hadn't butted in, Oz would be back in our world _without_ a ticking timer on his chest!"

His words were piercing through her heart, he knew. But he had to remind himself again and again – this _thing_, although took on the appearance of a girl, was nothing more than a monster. "Stop it," she whispered, hugging herself. Her eyes were narrowed and pained. "I don't want to hear it."

"Well, you have to!" he hissed. "Oz would be fine without you! He didn't need you! You're going to get him dragged into the Abyss!" He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I would kill you… but I can't."

Alice stared at him stiffly. "Because the bond between me and Oz is too strong, right?" she sneered. "If you kill me now, you'll hurt him too. You should've done the job when we first met, right? That's what you're thinking."

Gil stared at her. Before they could exchange further damaging words, Alice's eyes suddenly widened as she spotted someone from behind him. "Oz!"

While Gil stayed where he was, his back turned to him, Alice immediately rushed passed him and embraced the young man in a tight hug. She couldn't help the tears that slipped from her eyes. "Oz…" she whispered, holding him closely.

Oz, looking extremely tired, returned the hug. "Please…" he said softly. "Don't fight like that. I heard you two shouting from outside my door and I…" He flinched, as if experiencing an inner pain, and continued hoarsely. "Don't say those words again." Although Gil wasn't looking at him, he could feel Oz's eyes on his back. "Gil. Don't ever say that to Alice. I… I _won't_ be fine without her. I _need_ her now. Don't…" And this was where a certain warning came into his voice, "Don't ever tell Alice otherwise, Gil."

But Gil didn't understand – he _couldn't_ understand. He clenched his fists by his sides, not daring to turn around. If he did, he knew he'd see them together, standing so close. He would see how Oz would look at her, utterly _forgiving_.

"I can't, Oz," he whispered, staring down at the ground. "If anything happened to you… I wouldn't forgive her. Never."

Then he walked away, not saying another word and not glancing back.

Because right now, he was angry at _all_ of them – including himself.

**9:** _He was called by his name; she called him with a name he hated._

"Raven. Does the killing bother you?"

Gil, surprised, looked up and found Alice staring down at him calmly. He was sitting on the steps outside the Pandora headquarters. He wondered why Alice was talking to him – usually, she never sought him out unless it was of importance. From her casual way of talk, there didn't seem to be any other reason for her being here other than to speak to him.

He stared at her impassively and looked away. "No."

The Chain sat next to him on the steps, a meter away. "So blunt of an answer," she drawled. She looked at him sideways. "It's strange. Oz would tell me about a person named Gil… but I don't see anyone like him in you."

Gil snorted, taking his cigarette to his lips. "He talked to you about the past, did he?"

"Well, it's not like he can keep secrets from _me_," she said, almost smug.

The older man sighed. "What do you want, you stupid rabbit? Did you come out here just to bother me?"

"Of course. Making you miserable is the sole purpose of my life." Her sarcasm dripped from her tone like honey. "But seriously, Raven…" She looked at him fully now. "Don't kill people in front of Oz."

He stared at her. She continued. "He isn't like you. He doesn't want to see people die, especially because of him. Whether they're evil or downright corrupt, he treasures their puny, little lives." She rolled her eyes, as if the very thought was laughable. "But anyway, that's just how he is. So if you can keep the amount of killing human people to a minimum around him…"

"You think I didn't know?" Gil asked smartly. "I've known him for longer than you have, stupid Black Rabbit."

"Well, just making sure, idiot seaweed head." She stood up and stretched her arms above her. "Well, see you… Raven." She slipped back inside.

Gil, after a moment, sighed and continued with his smoking. He hated… being called by that name. However, for some reason, when it passed through Alice's lips, he didn't seem to mind so much.

**10:** _He had a big enough heart to love her, a Chain; he, however, could only give his life to one person._

Gil trapped her against the wall in the hallway, a hand on either side of her head. She glared up at him defiantly. "What do you want?" she hissed. She smirked slightly. "I'm getting better at pissing you off, aren't I? I didn't say or do anything to Oz yet you're planning to beat me up."

"I'm not like him," he said bluntly, ignoring her words. His golden eyes, vivid and intense, bore down on her. "I'm not as cheerful as he is, not as carefree. I don't have blonde hair or green eyes. I'm not Oz."

Alice stared at him warily. "Of course not. You can never be Oz."

A dull pain in his chest. But he forced himself to keep going. "I can't smile the way he does. I'm not as light as he is. I'm the complete opposite of Oz. I can _never_ be like him."

The Chain opened her mouth, to probably question his strange behaviour, but Gil kept going. "I didn't meet you first and I can't be 'refreshing'. I'm afraid of bloody cats of all things. I hate it when he spoils you and I, myself, can't be so indulgent of your happiness and favour. I know exactly where I am, so you can't worry about me. I can't – I won't – forgive you if you _ever_ hurt Oz… and I won't hesitate, not even for a moment, to kill you if you do him permanent harm. My life, Alice, belongs to him… but I can never be like him."

There was a pain in his eyes, something usually hidden but now fully exposed. Alice caught his look, recognized his pain and his confusion and his torment, and she shoved him away from her. There was an expression in his usually cold and hateful eyes as he stared down at her that scared her but, at the same time, caused adrenaline to pump through her blood.

This time, it was she who shoved him against the wall.

"Listen here, seaweed head," she spat at him, her eyes slitted. "I don't know what the hell is going through your mind, but you're right. You _can't_ be Oz – _no one_ can. You're Raven, you moron, and why would you want to be anyone else?"

Gil gaped at her. But, like him before, she didn't allow him to interrupt. "Sometimes, Oz's cheerfulness can be annoying, because he prefers to keep everything inside himself. Your seriousness and your ability to restrain yourself from flirting with other girls can be really refreshing too." She jabbed him in the chest. "It's true – when you try to smile at me, you look horrible and hideous and utterly mad. But when you _don't_ try, that's when I don't find your smile all that terrifying and ugly."

She grabbed his hair and pulled her down to her level, glaring at him straight in the eye. "I hate how _you and _Oz knew each other from childhood, because sometimes I can't _stand_ it. I hate cats too, because they can only love one person. You're darkness, Raven, like _me_. To us, Oz is our light, but because of that he can't _understand_."

She turned away from him and walked further down the hallway, crossing her arms. Gil stared at her back in bafflement.

"Oz can't understand us but to the both of us, we can't live without him, right?" She chuckled with bemusement. "The both of us – we're made from the things that come from the Abyss. I understand how you feel _perfectly_, and I don't blame you. Because," she glanced back at him with amused yet serious red eyes, "if you hurt him in any way either, I would want to kill you too…" Her expression saddened then, for the briefest of moments. "But I wouldn't. Because it will hurt Oz even more."

And that was when Gil understood. If he was darkness, then she was his moon. She was surrounded by the mysteries of the Abyss yet she was shining with so much _good_ inside her that Oz mistook her for a 'sun'. They were bathed with darkness yet because of that, they were companions.

"I don't know what's getting into you, Raven," she said gruffly, facing away from him. "But don't try to be like Oz. I… like the way you are now too."

She began walking away. Gil watched her, his fingers twitching. But not for the familiar grasp of his gun. No. For some reason, he wanted to touch _her_, grab her, hug her; he just, suddenly, for some strange, obscure reason, wanted to _hold her_, the stupid Bloody Black Rabbit.

"Alice!" he shouted. She stopped, turned her head, obviously surprised that he'd called her by her name. "I…" His fists were shaking. What was going on with him? "I… I would still kill you," he finally said, his voice tight and his eyes wide. "I would still kill you if you threaten to hurt Oz."

It may have been his imagination but a flash of hurt and sadness passed through her red eyes. "Fine," she said, a little gruffly. She looked away from him, facing the front again. "I don't care what you think anyway."

But Gil wasn't finished. "I'll do… whatever it takes to protect Oz. Even if it's from you." His voice was pained, however, full of remorse. "But Alice… I won't do it willingly. I won't do it with satisfaction or with happiness. I will do it with regret and anger. I will do it… knowing what – _who_ I'm killing. And I will hate myself for it."

_Because I can't be as good as you. I'm a Nightray – a person of darkness. I… will bear the guilt of living… the guilt of killing… the guilt of hurting Oz… for the both of you. For Alice and for him._

"Raven?"

He smiled at her and chuckled. "Don't worry, you stupid Black Rabbit. I doubt you'll be that easy to kill anyway."

She stared at him, long and hard, and then allowed herself a small smirk. She turned and continued walking away. "Glad you've acknowledged at least _that_, seaweed head." She lifted her hand. Without breaking her stride, she said, "… Thanks."

Gil stared at her back in puzzlement.

"What you said… I appreciate it. Especially since it came from _you._"

Then she disappeared behind a corner, cutting her from Gil's view.

He ran a hand through his hair and laughed quietly beneath his breath. His life belonged to Oz, that was for certain. But for Alice… Perhaps he could give her the rest of him he couldn't give to Oz.

_Who am I kidding?_ he sighed, reaching into his pockets for a much needed cigarette. _She probably already has the rest of me... the little thief._

-x-

KazunaPikachu


End file.
